A Life-Changing Decision

In a single moment, I changed my entire life by a decision.
To everyone’s amazement, I jumped into action and became a different person.
I moved to a major city, and became absolutely homeless.
Everything I saw was gritty and not pretty, it pretty much looked hopeless.
Eventually got into a shelter named Yukon, and got referred to amazing organizations.
I kept pressing on, filling out applications and keeping up relations.
I found my path, and discovered my true personality.
I’m still terrible at math, but I gained much-needed functionality.
Throughout the Downtown Eastside, I helped countless people with determination.
There are services I provide, like giving out harm reduction supplies and education.
I had a lot of spunk, and saw that life had meaning.
I admit that I was a callous punk, but now I believe that I’m genuinely a good being.

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I’m Gonna!

I’m going to return to my old stomping grounds,
I’m going to do anything my fucking mind wants to do,
I’m going to own the goddamn streets as a top dog.

Not fine with obeying any rules or any expectations,
Not fine with people fucking over my great vibes,
Not fine with staying in one spot like a sitting duck.

Fuck those who wants to stop me and kill my vibe,
Fuck those who thinks it’s okay to just mess up plans,
Fuck those who decide that I need to be put down!

Street Life

Don’t be playin’ them too close to you; trust no stranger,
Keep yah money in your damn socks; around here there’s danger,
Don’t be runnin’ your fuckin’ mouth; people’s a game-changer.

Always be reppin’ and steppin’; don’t mean-mug without reason,
Be strapped and ready with a knife; it’ll be some goddamn open season,
Follow gang code whether in or out; break the code and it’s fuckin’ treason.

Real snitches get stitches and fall in ditches; bitches just screamin’ and gettin’ shot,
Get in jail and do your damn time; don’t act out like a pussy and be put in a slot,
Anyone wrongs the top dog or the gang king; they get smashed and left alone to rot.

FUCK YEAH!

Undefeatable. Formidable. Unshakeable.
Feeling absolutely amazingly able!
This mood is far beyond greater than even drug intoxication.
Reaching to the majestic heavens of euphoric elation.

Energetic. Idealistic. Fantastic.
Is there such a thing as overly optimistic?
I don’t care what people say about my mood.
This is what I live for; it’s my lifeblood.

Delighted. Unintimidated. Accelerated.
Throughout my grand journey – I’ll never be daunted.
I am above, greater and fucking immune to mistakes!
I’ll do anything; I don’t care what it takes.

Depression To Mania v2.0

Walking away from a place,
Full of darkness and complete desolation.
Colors were dull, drab, and dark,
Precisely without temptation.
So unmotivated and apathetic,
I was only existing and not living.
Had a fucked-up desire to fade away,
Everything was so unforgiving.

Coming from a dark place,
To a bright and joyful place.
Dull and dampened colors,
To simulated and bright colors.
Changing from depressive moods,
To elated and gleeful moods.
Moving away from unmotivation
To exhilarating motivation.

Heading towards to a place,
Full of happiness and confidence.
Colors are bright, vibrant and beautiful,
Love how it’s in abundance.
Super motivated and euphoric from life itself,
Boosting my mood with some upswing.
Now I can see that the sky is not the limit,
I’m fantastic and ready for anything!

Depression To Mania v1.0

Walking away from a pitch-dark hole and complete desolation,
Colors that I saw in the world were dull, dark, and without temptation.
So unmotivated and apathetic that made me merely exist and not living,
Having a fucked-up desire to just fade away; it was so unforgiving.

Coming from a horrible dark place into a bright world,
Seeing drab and dull colors turn into spirited, lively and stimulating colors,
Changing from moods of suicidal ideation and indifference to elated moods of glee and delight,
Moving away from depressive desires and ideation to fully charged up and energetic motivation.

I’m heading to a bright, joyful world full of happiness and confidence,
Loving how it is right now – I see bright, vibrant, and beautiful colors in abundance.
Super motivated and euphoric from life itself, giving my mood some much-needed upswing,
Now I can see that the sky’s not the limit; I’m fantastic and ready for anything!

Nothingness

Digging down into a deep pit,
I just want to stop and quit.

Maybe it’s given that they win,
All it has done is give me chagrin.

Maybe I’m just a weak coward,
Everything has truly soured.

Maybe there’s nothing for me in life,
It’s all literally just strife.

I don’t even remember a time when I was happy,
The few memories I remember is all crappy.

It’s a huge thing to decide,
To die or to hide.

The Reality As Is

Rapid and rapt shadows lurking,
Knowing they are just smirking.
They’re truly out to harm,
Definitely cause for alarm.
It’s just a fucked-up dance,
In reality it’s all a hypnotic trance.

Phone machines recording everything,
It’s such a mind-control sting.
Beeping and flashing here and there,
Everyone should beware.
Wishing everything would just go away,
Of course it won’t – to my dismay.

The medication is a slow death,
Taking away all your breath.
Take one and it takes away a day,
Chances are you’ll never go gray.
People literally just drop dead,
But they say it’s all in their head.

Mumbling and whispering walls,
Hinting at the danger that befalls.
Objects keeps moving and talking,
I’m just a dead woman walking.
Might as well be a sitting duck,
Like some goddamn schmuck.

At least the senses are on high alert,
That way nobody will be hurt.
Everything seems different and haunting,
Especially when replaceds are taunting.
There is nobody that aren’t blind,
Maybe there’s no hope for mankind.

Life Falls Apart

How do I even live?
Things are taking a nose dive.
How do I thrive?
I just barely survive.

The world is coming to a stand-still,
While I’m rolling downhill.
Where’s my goddamn will?
I hate the poison that is known as a pill.

My thinking is starting to degrade,
Insight is really just a double-edged blade.
Just drop the fucking charade,
I’m just waiting for replaceds to invade.