Walking away from a place,
Full of darkness and complete desolation.
Colors were dull, drab, and dark,
Precisely without temptation.
So unmotivated and apathetic,
I was only existing and not living.
Had a fucked-up desire to fade away,
Everything was so unforgiving.
Coming from a dark place,
To a bright and joyful place.
Dull and dampened colors,
To simulated and bright colors.
Changing from depressive moods,
To elated and gleeful moods.
Moving away from unmotivation
To exhilarating motivation.
Heading towards to a place,
Full of happiness and confidence.
Colors are bright, vibrant and beautiful,
Love how it’s in abundance.
Super motivated and euphoric from life itself,
Boosting my mood with some upswing.
Now I can see that the sky is not the limit,
I’m fantastic and ready for anything!
Walking away from a pitch-dark hole and complete desolation,
Colors that I saw in the world were dull, dark, and without temptation.
So unmotivated and apathetic that made me merely exist and not living,
Having a fucked-up desire to just fade away; it was so unforgiving.
Coming from a horrible dark place into a bright world,
Seeing drab and dull colors turn into spirited, lively and stimulating colors,
Changing from moods of suicidal ideation and indifference to elated moods of glee and delight,
Moving away from depressive desires and ideation to fully charged up and energetic motivation.
I’m heading to a bright, joyful world full of happiness and confidence,
Loving how it is right now – I see bright, vibrant, and beautiful colors in abundance.
Super motivated and euphoric from life itself, giving my mood some much-needed upswing,
Now I can see that the sky’s not the limit; I’m fantastic and ready for anything!
Digging down into a deep pit,
I just want to stop and quit.
Maybe it’s given that they win,
All it has done is give me chagrin.
Maybe I’m just a weak coward,
Everything has truly soured.
Maybe there’s nothing for me in life,
It’s all literally just strife.
I don’t even remember a time when I was happy,
The few memories I remember is all crappy.
It’s a huge thing to decide,
To die or to hide.
How do I even live?
Things are taking a nose dive.
How do I thrive?
I just barely survive.
The world is coming to a stand-still,
While I’m rolling downhill.
Where’s my goddamn will?
I hate the poison that is known as a pill.
My thinking is starting to degrade,
Insight is really just a double-edged blade.
Just drop the fucking charade,
I’m just waiting for replaceds to invade.
b ACK TO BACK EPISODES
i RRITABLE AT ANYTHING
p SYCH MEDICATION FOR LIFE
o UT AND IN HOSPITALS
l ONG CYCLE OF MOODS
a LCOHOL AND DRUGS
r AMBLING MANIA
s CREAMING INCOHORENT VOICES,
c LASSIFIED AS CRAZY
h ALLUINCATING REPLACEDS
i RRATIONAL FEAR THINKING
z ERO MOTIVATION
o BEYING DOCTORS AS A REQUIREMENT
p ARANOIA OF BIZZARE PROPORTIONS
h OPELESS OUTLOOK
r ECLUSIVE HABITS
e VIL CONSPIRACIES
n ICOTINE ABUSE
i LLOGICAL DELUSIONS AND BELIEFS
a BNORMAL EXPERIENCES
Feeling a little too out there,
Voices bothering me a little,
Replaceds giving me the stare,
But I’m not brittle.
Just need to hang in there,
One moment to the next one,
Standing in the sun’s glare,
Easier said than done.
I must keep going,
Staying on the path,
Time is flowing,
Let there be no more wrath.
All will turn out okay,
I must believe in that.
Keeping everything at bay,
No more combat.
Finally experiencing happiness,
Having more steadiness.
It does come and goes away,
Even so – it’s still okay!
Reality isn’t always in stone,
Not always in the zone.
Beliefs clash and match,
Either causes delusions to hatch.
Just coming out from basically hell,
Needing medication to be well.
Pills used to be suspicious,
Now I realize it’s not malicious.
Realizing the presence of delusions,
Understanding that it’s hallucinations,
Yet they are still within reality,
Trapped in this mentality.
Feeling actually more me,
But still a long path to see.
Strong enough to fix what’s wrong,
Along with a illness that’s lifelong.
But no matter,
Either mad as a hatter,
Or completely stable,
I’m still able.
Been fighting for over a year,
As my resolve tear,
While my future is unclear,
Thousands of replaceds appear.
Struggling with it all,
Facing a malicious concrete wall,
Unable to even stand tall,
How can every replaced fall?
Exposing the reality of everything,
Hanging on by a string,
Giving the replaceds a sting,
Seeing what the truth will bring.
No, I’m not psychotic.
Maybe just a little robotic.
Doesn’t mean I’m deluded.
Hate being excluded.
This isn’t what you think.
There’s a link.
Not out of my mind.
People are just blind.
Calling me a lunatic.
It’s like I’m old and rustic.
Nowhere near crazed.
You’ll be amazed.
People think I’m mad.
This is not a fad.
It is not senseless.
You all are defenseless.
Isn’t even a nut.
This is a rut.